Wednesday, July 18, 2007

And now for a word I don't like...

from dictionary.com:
kill-joy [kil-joi]

–noun
a person who spoils the joy or pleasure of others; spoilsport.

(for other synonyms, see buzzkill, party pooper, marplot, wet blanket, depreciator, and stupidhead)

I am referring, of course, to the people who have allegedly obtained early copies of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and have posted plot details, the ending, and in some cases scans of the entire novel, online.

Come on, people. You have to be the first one in the world to have a copy of the seventh Harry Potter book, I get that. Somebody always has to be the first. But why ruin it for everybody else?

I'm pleased the see that Scholastic (the US publisher of the Harry Potter books) is already pursuing legal action against the people who have posted supposed scans of the book online, and against an online distributor that accidentally (or accidentally-on-purpose) shipped the books out early. Some of the text that appears on the Web seems to be an elaborate hoax, as a spokeperson for Scholastic has said that "she was aware of at least three different versions of the file 'that look very convincing' with what she described as 'conflicting content.'"

I'm particularly disappointed with the New York Times which, after reporting several stories about the alleged book leak, apparently obtained their own copy and posted a review of the book online. Today. Three days before the official release. I haven't read the review, and won't post the link here, but it is supposed to contain many spoilers. Even the brief teaser I glimpsed on the main New York Times home page was more than I wanted to know.

This is ridiculous, unprofessional, and showcases the very worst in human nature. Seriously, guys. Christmas is only a few days away, don't tell me what my presents are. Just give me a chance to open them, okay? Please?

(Disclaimer: the links in this post link to articles about spoilers, never to the spoilers themselves. Also, in spite of the bitter tone of this post, I have not yet read anything that I consider a legitimate spoiler, and I hope I can keep in that way until Saturday.)

Monday, July 16, 2007

Inchoate

from dictionary.com:
in·cho·ate [in-koh-it, -eyt or, especially Brit., in-koh-eyt]

–adjective
1. not yet completed or fully developed; rudimentary.
2. just begun; incipient.
3. not organized; lacking order: an inchoate mass of ideas on the subject.

[Origin: 1525–35; < L inchoātus, var. of incohātus ptp. of incohāre to begin, start work on, perh. equiv. to in- -in-2 + coh(um) hollow of a yoke into which the pole is fitted + -ātus -ate1]

I just learned this word today. Or more likely, I've seen it before but glossed it over without bothering to look it up, assuming that I already knew what it meant.

As I try to get back into writing, I'm making a point looking up words I thought I already know the definitions for, only to discover that I'm always slightly wrong. Using words more precisely will help me write more precisely, so this is probably a good thing.

Anyway, inchoate is a word I will need to begin using immediately, to describe myself, to describe this blog, and to describe any of several projects I'm trying to complete right now. I like the fact that it looks and sounds so similar to incoherant.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition...

[JARRING CHORD]


NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!


(Sorry...it's my birthday and I couldn't resist a bit of random silliness. Watch the videos here and here).

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Warning: Extreme Harry Potter Content

I usually try to keep my inner Harry Potter geek contained, but she will be out in full force for this post. If you are not interested in the Harry Potter books, if you don't like the Harry Potter books, if you think the Harry Potter books promote Satanism and the decline of Western civilization, you should stop reading right now. Go entertain yourself here instead.

That said, I never expected to get so involved in the Harry Potter books. I got started slowly, but by book 3 (my favorite!) I was completely sucked in. No surprise, really, since I've been reading various epic fantasy and science fiction series my whole life. In elementary school, it was the Oz books and the Chronicles of Narnia. In junior high I discovered the Wrinkle in Time quartet and the Anne McCaffrey books. In high school I read the Lord of the Rings and the Shanarra trilogy, and recently I have been catching up on the Ender saga. After Harry Potter I'm sure I will find another collection of books to obsess over (Phillip Pullman has been suggested to me recently).

But I digress. I wanted to post my official predictions for book 7, so that in the unlikely event that I'm right about something, I can feel smug about it. And in the much more likely event that I'm way off base, you can all laugh and point. I'll probably be updating this post as more things occur to me.

* Harry, Ron, and Hermione will survive. Not without injuries, (and I'm thinking burns, serious cuts, maybe even loss of limbs), but they all will be alive at the end of book 7.

* Voldemort will be vanquished, but Harry must find a way to finish him off without killing him, for Harry must not split his soul. I believe Harry will destroy the horcruxes (with a lot of help, I'm sure), but I think a dementor will be what finishes Voldemort off in the end, sucking the final bit of soul out through his mouth and leaving him in a state "worse than death." I have no idea how this will happen, since the dementors are supposedly on Voldemort's side. Harry's ability to produce a corporeal patronus is an important plot point, maybe the patronus will be strong enough to deflect a dementor from attacking Harry to attacking Voldemort instead?

* Lots of people will die, including at least two main characters (JKR has said so). For deaths, I am predicting Snape, Percy Weasley, possibly Mrs. Weasley, Wormtail, and Neville. Maybe Charlie Weasley, or Fred and George. I hope Neville will be the character who gets the reprieve, but I have a bad feeling about him. Of course, I assume that most of the Death Eaters and various other secondary characters will die as well.

* I think the book will end the way it began, with somebody giving their life to save Harry's. I believe it will be Snape or Wormtail. Possibly Neville.

* More likely, Neville will die attempting to revenge his parents and destroy Bellatrix Lestrange. I think he will be successful in vanquishing her (again, I'm not sure if he will actually split his soul by killing her or if he will find another way), but that he will die too.

* Dumbledore is really dead. At least, one of them is. I don't know if I believe that Albus and Aberforth Dumbledore switched places, but I find the idea intriguing. Regardless, I think they will both be dead by the end of book 7. As an aside, I think the idea that Dumbledore had a horcrux of his own (which I've read on several Harry Potter forums) is absolutely ludicrous. It doesn't make any sense, given what we know about Dumbledore and what we know about horcruxes.

* If Percy dies, he will die doing something heroic to redeem himself for the way he's been acting in the last few books.

* Wormtail must also die doing something heroic, and will repay his life debt to Harry (most likely by saving Harry's life).

* Harry will return to the Chamber of Secrets and find something important there, either a horcrux or some important revelation about Salazar Slytherin.

* Harry will re-visit the Room of Requirement, and find something extremely important to his quest; maybe a horcrux.

* I don't think Nagini is a horcrux, but I do think that Voldemort used the murder of Frank Bryce to create his sixth horcrux. My pet theory is that he used something Frank Bryce had on his person: the key to the Riddle House. Frank's spare key is mentioned several times in chapter 1 of book 4 and I think it would have had enough significance (the key to his father's house!) for Voldemort to use it as a horcrux. If this is the case, the key has most likely been magically concealed in the Riddle house.

* I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the wand in Ollivander's shop window (mentioned once, in passing, in book 1) is just a wand. I've read some crazy theories about this wand, from it being a horcrux to it belonging to Rowena Ravenclaw or even to Grindelwald, but I just don't find anything in the text to back them up. The theory seems to be based on the idea that the four founders' artifacts (and potential horcruxes) align with the four suits of the tarot (swords, cups, coins, and wands), but I find this much too big of an assumption to make with no basis in canon. Ollivander's a wand-maker, he displays a wand in the window of his shop. Sometimes a wand is just a wand. There's definitely something funny about Ollivander and his subsequent disappearance, though. I just can't fathom what it might be.

* Albus Dumbledore will continue giving Harry advice and guidance in book 7, either through his portrait, letters, memories in the pensieve, or some other means. I am certain that Fawkes will return to help Harry out as well.

* Many people have speculated that Harry will have to go through the veil in book 7, and I agree. I believe Sirius will be his guide and the key to him returning from beyond the veil. I just discovered this quote, which is very mysterious and seems to support the idea of going through the veil:

[JKR discusses the fact that you can't reverse death]"That's a given. Without it the plot would fall apart, though in Book Seven you'll see just how close you can get to the dead."

* Harry is willing to sacrifice himself to destroy Voldemort, and will probably do something he believes will result in his own death (i.e. going through the veil), but events beyond his control and outside of his knowledge will allow him to survive.

* Snape is good. Well, maybe "good" is the wrong word, but he is not working for Voldemort. He will redeem himself in the end, possibly dying to save Harry's life.

* I find this quote fascinating, but I can't even being to speculate on who might be married to whom:

"Have any of the Hogwarts professors had spouses?"
JKR: "Good question - yes, a few of them, but that information is sort of restricted - you'll find out why..."


* Snape is related somehow to Madame Pince, the librarian. She may be Snape's mother, in disguise (or in hiding), or another relative (aunt?). Maybe even Snape's wife, wouldn't that be scandalous? I base this theory entirely on the fact that Madame Pince's name, Irma Pince, anagrams to "I'm a Prince" (Snape's mother was Eileen Prince) and that their physical descriptions (sallow and hook-nosed) are similar.

* On www.jkrowling.com, under the Rumours section (5/13/05) JKR debunks the rumour that Snape is Luna Lovegood's father by saying "Mr. Lovegood, the editor of 'the Quibbler', really is Luna's father and Snape does not have a daughter." This seems awkwardly phrased...why wouldn't she say Snape doesn't have any children? Because he does? I find the idea that Snape has a son very interesting indeed. However, I do not think that it is Harry, or Neville, or even Draco.

* Many Harry Potter fans believe that Snape was in love with Lily. I definitely think there was some kind of connection between them, whether they dated or worked on potions together or were just good friends I'm not sure. This article about the French play Polyeucte (featuring a character named Severus) makes me think it was likely that Snape did have feelings for Lily, although I do not believe that they had a child (in reference to the prediction above).

* I do think it's possible that Snape entered into an Unbreakable Vow with Lily at some point in the past. I do not, however, believe that he had an Unbreakable Vow with Dumbledore. Dumbledore puts too much emphasis on the power of our choices to put somebody in a position where they have no choice.

* I think we will see, in the pensieve, somebody's memory of what actually happened in Godric's Hollow the night Voldemort killed Harry's parents. The memory might be Harry's, or it might be somebody else's...somebody else who would have been present that night. My guesses for who might have been present are Wormtail, Lupin, or one or both of Neville's parents. I also think we have been slightly mislead about what actually happened during that confrontation.

* Neville has been subjected to a memory charm, which is beginning to wear off. We will find out why and who put it on him.

* Petunia, with her "horsey" face and teeth, might have something to do with centaurs. I don't think she's part centaur (is that even possible?), but there is certainly more to Petunia than what we've seen so far.

* Harry will, of course, get back together with Ginny in the end. Ron and Hermione will, of course, be a couple in the end.

* We will see the mirror of Erised again, and other mirrors (including Sirius's mirror), will play an important role in book 7. I believe Voldemore used a (cracked and spotted) mirror to communicate with Draco (and who knows who else) in Book 6. The mirror hiding the collapsed secret passage on the fourth floor of Hogwarts will come into play, and we will find out why that passageway was blocked and where it leads. I suspect it has something to do with the Chamber of Secrets.

* The occupations of Harry's parents are supposed to be important to the plot (read quote here). I suspect that one or both of them were Unspeakables, who worked in the Department of Mysteries. Voldemort must have had some compelling reason for allowing Lily to live (he asked her to stand aside, so he could get to Harry, when he could have just as easily killed her first). It seems like giving Lily the choice to live (and allowing her to sacrifice herself to save Harry) was Voldemort's one big mistake.

* Moaning Myrtle will be back in book 7, and will have some critical information for Harry, probably about Voldemort (since she was at school with him).

* What's up with: wardrobes, grandfather clocks (particularly the one in the Gryffindor common room), clocks and watches in general, the Giant Squid, cracked and spotted mirrors (see my mirror prediction above), Neville's Mimbulus Mimbletonia, pigs (hogs, winged boars, boarhounds, etc.), the Draught of Living death (I don't think Dumbledore took this to fake his own death, but maybe Harry will take it at some point?), house elves, and Harry leaving his invisibility cloak lying around? I think all of these things will have a role in book 7. I just don't know what that role will be.

* Like most fans, I believe R.A.B. is Regulus Black (Sirius's dead brother). I will be thrilled if it turns out to be someone (or something) different, though.

* I have been haunted by the following three passages from the books, but I'm still not sure how I want to interpret them:

"Professor Trelawny was now teaching them palmistry; and she lost no time in informing Harry that he had the shortest life line she had ever seen."
(Prisoner of Azkaban, ch. 12, pg. 235 US paperback, italics mine)

"[Harry said]'But if I'd dropped dead every time she's told me I'm going to, I'd be a medical miracle.'
'You'd be a sort of extra-concentrated ghost,' said Ron, chortling..."
(Goblet of Fire, ch. 21, pg. 372 US paperback, italics mine)

"[Draco] looked back at at Harry and said in a low voice, 'You're dead, Potter.'
Harry raised his eyebrows. 'Funny,' he said, 'you'd think I'd have stopped walking around...'"
(Order of the Phoenix, ch. 38, pg. 851 US paperback, italics mine)

For a while I had a theory that Harry had really died that night at Godric's Hollow, and something else had inhabited his body. But how would a dead body continue to grow? I admit, that theory doesn't make any sense. The theory that Harry is a horcrux, or that his scar is a horcrux, seems more plausible, but I don't really believe that. What if Harry died but someone (Snape?) was able to "stopper" death, allowing Harry to survive (but not live, as per the prophecy) for a set period of time? And what exactly was Tom Riddle in Chamber of Secrets? A memory? A sort of extra-concentrated ghost? He became more solid (more like a real person) the more life he took from Ginny. Things to ponder.

* We will find out at least one of the 12 uses of dragon's blood (one more, that is; the 12th use is oven cleaner), and it will probably be something that saves Harry and others from dying in certain situations.

* As for the dragon pictured on the cover of the deluxe editionof book 7, I think it can only be a grown-up Norbert.


For some interesting notes about connections to alchemy in the Harry Potter books, click here, for a discussion of the Celtic wheel click here, and for a great editorial (not by me) about the ancient Egyptian links throughout the series click here. Oh yeah, and here is some info about the sacred hallows of Ireland (certainly at least one of the inspirations behind the title phrase "Deathly Hallows").

(edited 7/11 to add a few new predictions, some quotes, and clean up my egregious spelling and grammatical errors.)

(edited 7/16 to add my final thoughts.)

Monday, July 2, 2007

Presto!

Step 1: Fresh Basil



Step 2: Fresh Basil in Blender



Step 3: Fresh Pesto in Bowl




Okay, I may have skipped some steps, but is there anything better than a bowl of fresh pesto sauce? I used to make it from a packet, but in the last year or two I've discovered that it's just as easy, and much tastier, to make it myself. I don't have a specific recipe (because it depends on what I have on hand at the time), but here are some guidelines:

MY PESTO FORMULA

2 cups basil, give or take

Juice of 2-3 lemons

1/4 - 1/2 cup olive oil

1/4 - 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese (I like a lot of cheese)

2 - 3 cloves of garlic, peeled

1/4 - 1/2 cup nuts (I usually use walnuts, but pine nuts are more traditional. Alton Brown has a great recipe using pistachios. In a pinch, I've used pecans and even raw almond butter.)

Splash of apple cider or other vinegar (optional: if you need more acid but have run out of lemons)

Cayenne pepper or tabasco sauce, to taste

Tamari, soy sauce, or sea salt, to taste (if you use a lot of cheese, you won't need much salt)

Pinch of ground mustard or actual mustard (there is some chemistry going on here, as the mustard helps emulsify the olive oil and lemon juice)

Freshly ground pepper, to taste

Throw everything in the blender and blend the heck out of it. Use a silicone spatula if necessary to help the mixture turn over. Be careful! Wooden spoon not recommended: chunks of wood do not enhance pesto's texture.

I think that's it! Spread finished pesto on pasta, salads (add a bit more lemon juice to make a yummy dressing), bread, crackers, sandwiches...


And of course, ugly, misshapen pizzas! I probably should have done a better job rolling out the dough, but they tasted great.

Friday, June 22, 2007

My New Car

How cool is this cubist car?


I wonder what it runs on. Do you think I could get it in blue?

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Pretty in Pink

Pink Size 8 Jelly Shoes at Target: $2.50


Re-living the summer I was eight years old: priceless

More about the inexplicable resurgence of 80's fashions soon. Probably. I'm hoping I can find some embarrassing (and fashionable!) photos of myself from that era.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Park-itecture

World-renowned architect Frank Gehry will be designing a new playground in lower Manhattan. Wow! That kind of makes my local playground seem primitive and crappy. But wait, it just got a fresh coating of woodchips!

Seriously, I think this is going to be really fabulous and I can't wait to see photos of the completed project. As I recall, when Frank Gehry designed the Springfield cultural center, he couldn't keep the skateboarders away, so he seems like a logical choice for playground design (incidentally, Gehry played himself in that episode).


I imagine the slide will look something like this:

(The Experience Music Project in Seattle)

Or possibly this:


(Fish Dance in Kobe, Japan)

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Vindicated!

The internet is a magical, magical thing.

As a young, impressionable child in the 80's, I used to watch a show called The Great Space Coaster. I remember it with great fondness, but I've never been able to find another living soul who has heard of this program or will admit to having watched it. When I try to describe the show, people generally roll their eyes and accuse me of dreaming or otherwise hallucinating it. Granted, an amazing (an vaguely psychedelic) space roller coaster and a talking gnu do seem a little far-fetched.

I got sick of being called crazy though, so one day, I decided to Google it. Miracle of miracles, you can actual watch the (fabulous) intro in its entirety here. But be warned, that song will be stuck in your head for years.

My favorite character from The Great Space Coaster was a newscaster (or should I say gnuscaster?) named Gary Gnu, whose tagline was "no gnus is good gnus". I don't know exactly what a gnu is (Wiki does!), but they seem to wear a lot of eye makeup. Watch Gary in action here.

Take that, nay-sayers! Even hit show Family Guy has grabbed a piece of the space coasting action. Who's crazy now?

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Love is a mix tape


First, the title of this post doesn't come from my own clever brain, rather, it is the title of an actual book by Rolling Stone writer Rob Sheffield. I haven't read it yet, but it comes highly recommended and I'm hoping to pick it up soon. The artwork at left comes from this book.

With the slow demise of cassettes, I have been contemplating the phenomenon of the mix tape in my own life and in our culture. I still remember the first mix tape I made for my husband, back in 1996. He was on vacation in Maryland, I was preparing to leave on a (separate) trip to Florida, and his birthday was approaching. We hadn't been dating long enough for me to send anything too expensive or too romantic, but I wanted him to know I was thinking of him. The perfect solution? A mix tape, of course! Between packing my suitcase and the arduous process of casette-to-casette recording, I stayed up all night making that tape. I mailed it the next morning, and I suppose the rest is history. He did marry me, after all.

While CD's and other new-fangled technologies make it easier than ever to create a personalized music mix for yourself or your friends, I can't help feeling that we're missing out somehow. Back in the day, a mix tape was the perfect gift, because the recipient understood the amount of thought and effort that went into its creation. Today, you spend a few minutes plugging the songs into your computer, hit the "burn" button, and you're done.

I guess what I'm really pondering here is nature of gifts. As children, we start out by making things with our own hands and anything we can stick glitter onto. As we get older and wealthier, we can afford to buy more elaborate and expensive gifts for our loved ones. But I can't help wondering if those pricy gifts, which take just minutes to select and purchase, are really a better representation of our affection than the time and energy invested in the creation of a mix tape, or even a macaroni necklace.